I do not subscribe to the notion that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes things just happen, that is all. But other times I look to the universe in perplexed wonder trying to work out what sign she is trying to send me. This week, for example, I feel as though I’ve encountered a lot of barriers, I’ve been slowed down a lot, literally and this has been a source of considerable frustration.
On Thursday morning, I travelled the 100km round trip to pick up my children from a night with their father. At 7.30am I was pulled over for a random breath test. I was asked if I’d had anything to drink that day. My somewhat incredulous look, coupled with a shake of my head prompted the policeman to add “or late last night”. No, I said, and the breath test confirmed this. The police officer looked at my licence and asked “do you still live in the mountains”. Yes, I replied. “You’re a long way from home” he said, holding me up and making me wonder whether there was some crime against travelling from the mountains into the city.
After picking up the kids I had a nightmare journey back home. Both were almost late for school and I was very late for work. Desperate for coffee and without any cash I stopped at an ATM, only to be be beaten there by a woman who apparently couldn’t operate the machine or who was deliberately sent to delay me. I’m not sure which.
On the way to work I literally hit every single red light. Every one. And when I finally hit the double lanes, I was thwarted by a person (in a red car, funnily enough) who drove slowly in the right lane whilst a truck crawled up the hill in the left. As I almost reached work, I noticed a shiny red car pull in front of me. I love red. I admired it briefly then ran out of petrol.
Some work issues have arisen today which stopped me from getting on with important pre-planned tasks. On Wednesday night a hideous and unexplained muscle cramp from which there was no relief stopped me from sleeping. Notice a theme at all? Me too.
I decided to leave work a bit earlier today, and looked to be able to start my weekend at a civilised time when I came upon a huge traffic jam on the part of the highway which usually travels well. There’d been an accident in the right hand lane. Traffic was crawling.
So what was this all trying to tell me? I felt really held back all week. Am I working too hard? Probably but slowing down won’t make things any less stressful. I gave myself the wonderful gift of a massage on Wednesday night so it’s not about self care. But there definitely have been barriers for me this week.
What’s it all about? I can’t seem to read the signs? Or is the sign that I’m reading too much into something which has nothing to do with anything at all? I don’t think so though, I feel like it must mean something… any ideas?