Didn’t it used to be easier than this? Am I looking through rose tinted glasses at my early days of dating and seeing them differently to what they were? Because if I recall, in the very olden days before text messaging and internet dating and divorce, there was just a smile, a lingering glance over the rim of my midori and lemonade glass (please don’t judge, it was the early 90’s after all) and a chap would wander over and ask you out if he was interested and move on if not.
He would call (in those days it was hammered into us as women that we should never, ever call him first) and you would go out again and that would be it. Isn’t that how it used to go? I mean, yes, there was angst and the horror at realising you had forgotten to make sure the answering machine was on when you took your washing down to the laundry room after waiting all day for a call and then when you got back you didn’t know whether the phone had rung or not and then your flatmate who had been in the shower might vaguely say “actually I think the phone might have been ringing” and then swan off to get ready for her date because she’d already been through all that first and second and third date hell and was blissfully in love with her boyfriend. Wait. Oh, okay, well now I’m beginning to remember. Gawd.
So, a couple of hours after I posted the details of how my date went I received a text message saying that he’d had a nice time and enjoyed talking to me. No mention of meeting up again. In the true style of a woman who has been bombarded with the media’s ideas of how women get it wrong, I waited a full half an hour before texting back. Pathetic. I know. But I felt I was appropriately enthusiastic in my response. So now the waiting begins.
To be honest I am feeling okay about it all. I liked him, I hope I will see him again but if I don’t then c’est la vie. It’s the only way to survive in the cut throat world of dating in your 40’s – and in this year of saying yes, I am far from ready to give up. A suggestion from a friend was that I should contact him in a week or so and ask him out. JFDI said she. It took me a full hour to work out what that meant. I’ll leave you to do the same. You’ll probably do so more quickly than I.