I came across the above advice when I was reading through one of those lists that you see in magazines in the first part of the year. Sometimes I find them helpful and sometimes I just snort and turn the page. But this one did resonate with me.
When I got divorced, I listed all of the things about myself that weren’t good enough. There was quite a list and it was easily accessible since the end of a marriage (if you’ve been through it, which I hope you haven’t) isn’t usually about how great you both are. I wondered for a while afterwards how I could make the changes needed to make me desirable again. This was madness of course but it’s part of the human condition that we (well most of us anyway) blame ourselves entirely when a relationship breaks down. It’s only over drinks and many post mortems with friends that we begin to note the things wrong with the person who left us. Even then, I think there is a small dark place in all of us where we wonder whether the bad staff is really true.
But this is nonsense and I will no longer be subscribing to such self-destructive musings. As you know dear reader, I’ve recently been dating again and things haven’t gone as well as I would have liked. Of course, it’s been a couple of dates here and there, no relationships ending but it’s been somewhat disheartening nonetheless and I’ve found myself slipping back into the “what’s wrong with me” way of thinking. Bad move. So from now on, I’m going to go the other way and remember all of the things I like about myself. I will say here and now that I am not sure whether I could get to a list of 20. So being the optimistic pessimist that I am, I will make a list of 10. Here goes:
- I have a big heart, full of love.
- I have pretty good hair.
- I have a nice singing voice.
- I am thoughtful.
- I give good presents.
- I make excellent pancakes.
- I am a dedicated and loving mother.
- I love my friends dearly.
- I can sew, knit and crochet.
- I have attractive lips.
I actually found that kind of difficult! Also, I’m now slightly worried that someone will read that list and disagree with me but I am leaving it there anyway. I invite you to join me dear reader. Share with me a list of 10 things you like about yourself (or 20 if you wish). It will make you feel good about yourself and remind you of all the wonderful things you have to offer (just as it’s reminded me).