There is something about me which makes people, often strangers, tell me things. Very private things. When we’ve only just met. This is part of what makes me good at my job and it serves me well in that context. In my personal life, well, it makes for interesting experiences for me.
I had one such experience this evening. I told the person who was telling me all kinds of intimate things that I was going to write about our conversation. He said okay, as long as I didn’t reveal his name.
This man, who I only met for the first time tonight, came to my house to give me a quote for a new kitchen. Twice within minutes of meeting him, he told me he didn’t get much sleep last night. Then he elaborated. He only got an hour and a half’s sleep last night. “Why is that” I enquired politely. Perhaps he had a new baby or perhaps he’d been stressed about something. But no, it wasn’t either of these reasons.
“I met someone” he said and a huge grin spread across his face. He was almost bouncing up and down he was so pleased with himself. He told me they went out last night and he stayed the night and he’d only just dropped her back at home in the very early hours of this morning. Now I don’t believe that there was anything in my question which would prompt such an admission, but there you are.
Since he was clearly so very excited I asked him how they’d met and now I know the full story of how they struck up a conversation, who he was out with that night, the hair colour of the woman he met, and the hair colour of her friend, how many children she has, the reason her marriage ended and, where she lives.
I also know why his marriage ended, why he was so hurt by this, some of the things his ex-wife used to say to him to undermine his confidence and the make and model of the car he is saving up to buy. I am pretty sure I also know at least one of the sexual positions he was involved in last night because at one stage whilst he was writing up the quote, he stretched and grimaced, stating his ham strings were hurting. Being someone with quite a vivid imagination my mind went straight to the position which would most impact a man’s hamstrings. It’s something I can’t unthink.
Now I know that the above seems a little creepy. A strange man in my house regaling me with stories of his all night rampant shag fest, but in fact, it really wasn’t creepy at all.
He was just so excited about this woman. He was excited about seeing her again and how much he liked her and it was really nice to see. He wasn’t disrespectful in the way he spoke about her, he was just really thrilled to have met someone he was really into.
I told him I hoped she liked him as much has he liked her and he said he thought she did. Isn’t that sweet? He told me he’d been married for 20 years and that dating was so foreign to him and that he hated internet dating. He said this woman is the first woman he’s been out with since his separation and that she was into all the sorts of things he was into.
As the time he was in my home progressed he was clearly very pleased with the events of the evening prior and he was in a very good mood and said he couldn’t wait to share his news with friends he was meeting at the pub later on.
I found that listening to him made me hope that I meet someone one day who is as excited about me. I felt sort of upbeat after he left because he brought such a hopeful and happy vibe into the house with him.
It’s a privilege to hear people’s stories. The happy ones are wonderful of course but the sad one’s as well are given as a gift to the person who will listen to them because the story teller is entrusting you with a piece of themselves. Something which is unique to them. When someone does this they hand over knowledge, whether you realise it at the time or not, which can be stored and brought out whenever needed or necessary.
I told this man, this now not so stranger in my home, that I really hope his new relationship works out. He told me he thinks it will. I told him that it would be really nice if he brought her some flowers, especially given he had such a great time with her. He said he would.
I really hope he comes back to me with a decent quote. I want to hear the end of this story.