Well. That was unexpected.
A man I’ve been messaging with over the past week or so asked me what I was looking for in a partner. Sick of pretending to be all alluring and come hither-like I stated simply “non-racist and not a homophobe. Someone who believes in gender equality and who isn’t afraid of the word feminist”. I thought I’d never hear from him again. But I did. And this morning we met for coffee.
To be honest, I was a bit dubious. He had messaged me quite a bit and referred to me as “hun” in one of his messages. This put me off. Too familiar, too soon for me. Also, I awoke this morning with a throat that felt like I’d been gargling razors and generally feeling crappy from the flu which I’ve been trying to keep at bay for a week.
But nothing ventured, nothing gained right? And I had inadvertently sparked a mini-debate on Facebook about the merits of a man with a tinny, which he had mentioned in one of his messages. I don’t like boats, I get really seasick, but there were many positive comments pertaining to tinnies so I was willing to set my prejudices aside so that at the very least, I could feedback to interested parties.
I’m sort of glad I did.
We met at a local café. He was better looking in person than his photos. And physically very much my type. As tall as he claimed to be – 6’3” which is great for a stiletto loving gal like me – and he has dark hair and olive skin. So far, so good. He was polite to my favourite waiter, a good start, ate with his mouth shut and the conversation flowed quite well.
Turns out that the tinny man was very much more book than cover. He is a carpenter who told me he has recently re-discovered his creative side and showed me a fantastic costume he made for his son for book week. Now, as every parent knows, book week costumes are highly competitive and stressful for all concerned so I was impressed at his commitment to this. He also showed me lots of other really great things he had made and I have to say, I do like a creative man.
Were there downsides? Yes. I don’t like being called terms of endearment by someone I’ve only just met. He has certain issues, which may or may not be impactful on a potential relationship, but I am willing to take those into consideration for now. Also he held my hand as we walking back to our respective cars and I found this way too forward, way too soon (speaking of issues…..here is a great big one of mine). But all in all it was great.
We had a great conversation about me being a feminist and gender equality. I loved that he was so creative. He’s had an interesting career path. He seems insightful and self aware. He also seemed really down to earth. Oh and he was very broad-shouldered, which is something I am particularly fond of in a fellow.
Mercifully he didn’t try to kiss me, but did kiss my cheek as we said goodbye. We’ve decided to go to this great antique place for our next date because he said he loves picking around second hand shops (as do I) and he has messaged me since we parted ways, saying he hopes I feel better soon (stupid flu).
Every now and then a dreaded first date turns out to be something a bit different than the others. I really like it when this happens. So do keep playing along at home dear reader, and watch this space. Hopefully there’s more to come.