For the first time in a long time I arrived early for today’s coffee date. It gave me time to tell everyone on Twitter what I was doing (integral to any first date experience) and also to survey my date as he walked in. Usually I am a little bit late, no more than 10 minutes as a rule but today time was on my side.
I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t expecting much. I don’t know why, I guess I was just feeling a little jaded.
When he walked in, 5 minutes late (acceptable), he looked better than his photo. A rare but much hoped for occurrence. A few jittery nerves to start off and then we were away.
I really liked him. Conversation was really great. He was articulate and intelligent and I was thinking about how I would be able to write here about how it was better than I had thought it would be.
But here’s the thing. My dating experience thus far has shown me that in these situations, where I am pleasantly surprised and I’m sure that he enjoyed himself as much as me, I never hear from the guy again. I remember going on the best first date I had been on post-divorce. I was sure it was the beginning of something. Then I received a text saying that despite my being a fantastic woman, he could never see himself falling in love with me. That one cut pretty deep.
I have had other great experiences which have all come to nought and I am not sure why this is. It may be that I am so selfishly enjoying myself that I miss vital cues. I have tried to be more aware of this but it does tend to make the date less relaxing.
Maybe it’s because when I am thinking there might be something there, something changes in my demeanour. I know I talked far too much about other dates I had been on today. I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I like to think we were just sharing stories but upon reflection, I think I sounded ridiculous.
He paid for our coffee/snacks and as we walked out the conversation continued but got super awkward. I made some spectacularly stupid comment about how the end of a date is always awkward but that I am used to it! Like all I ever do is go on first dates which end in exactly the same way this one was ending. I guess that’s not too far from the truth but the guy doesn’t need to hear that!
Anyway, I told him give me a call if you want, or not. Then he looked at my kind of strangely, kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye. When I got to my car I remembered we’d never exchanged numbers and that he hadn’t asked for mine.
Oh universe, why??
I came home and emailed him, apologized for sounding like a total idiot at the end, blamed it on nerves, and gave him my number. If I hear from him again, that would be really great. If not, well then I guess he’s just going to be someone I talk about on my next first date.*
* Not really. Clearly that is a major turn off for some blokes. Who knew?