Internet dating makes us all a bit fickle. The more self-aware among us take care not to treat people badly but catching someone’s eye online isn’t that much different to catching someone’s eye in a bar. It doesn’t mean it has to go anywhere. You may have an interesting conversation and then go your separate ways at the end of the night. This is perfectly okay.
But once you’ve been out on a date and met face to face, things are slightly different. So if you’ve been out with someone, exchanged a few post date texts and then let things slide, you have to put in some effort if a few weeks go by and you decide that maybe you want to see them again.
Allow me to offer up the following example of an appropriate text:
“Hi there, This is (Tom/Dick/Harry) sorry I’ve not been in touch. No excuse really, life/kids/work just got in the way. I’d really like to see you again and I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner this weekend? If you are interested, then I will give you a call to arrange. If not, then all the best, my fault for not contacting you sooner”.
The following, is not appropriate:
“Hi, how are you? I am kid-free this weekend. Hoping to get some sun”.
Do you see the difference? When you ask me out, even though you know there’s a good chance I will say no after your weeks of silence, it tells me that you are brave and I might just decide that you are worth a second chance. By adding your name to the text you’re showing me that you’re not so arrogant as to assume I will still have your number. If you actually call me, I will be really impressed. But when you text me telling me you happen to be free and then say nothing else of substance, this tells me you’re the kind of chap who doesn’t want to take any sort of risk and hopes that I will ask you out instead. No.
I felt I had to share this. It’s been bugging me. If you have any amendments/comments to add then I would be happy to hear them.