First Dates

Man holding woman's hand at table

I am not usually one for “reality” dating shows, especially where a number of women “compete” for a man.  They’re kind of gross.  I will admit to being hooked on The Bachelor but this was mainly due to Rosie Waterland’s recaps if I’m perfectly honest. But after urging from friends I jumped on board the First Dates train and I am very glad I did.

I am fascinated by blind dates and set ups, and whoever was doing the choosing on this show, seemed to be doing so with some care. In real life, the criteria is usually “you’re single, he’s single, go!”

Because I talk about dating all the time and because I go on a LOT of first dates, conversation in the lunchroom today inevitably turned to the previous nights viewing. The general consensus seemed to be mild distaste which was really disappointing. I tried to sell it as interesting from a psychological viewpoint but there were no takers.

Interestingly, the women I was speaking to are all partnered/married. One queried as to what sort of person would actually go on a first date on television? I had to speak up at this point. It’s great if you’re in a long term marriage or relationship and you’re fairly confident that you’ll never have to fight your way through the first date/relationship building jungle again. But spare a thought for those of us who are there through no fault or choice of our own. It’s just the luck of the draw.

Is my ideal first date on television with a ton of people watching and passing judgment on my outfit and being part of my potential rejection? No. Of course not. But I’ve said it before and I will say it again, it’s very slim pickin’s out here. The older you get the harder it is. Particularly if you have children. This was evident when a very lovely 37 year old woman whose children were already teens, was paired with a 42 year old man who had never married nor had children of his own. She was eyeballing her imminent freedom and looking for someone to travel the world with, he was trying to see if she’d consider going right back to the start again. She was not interested and therefore neither was he.

It was suggested to me that going on a dating show on television where your blind date has been pre-chosen, is no guarantee of a better outcome than the usual methods of dating. I agree. It isn’t. But it’s another option and what’s wrong with trying something else?

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I would like to find someone. I’ve dated a lot on and off over the years and I’ve met less than a handful of men I would consider being in a relationship with. Even fewer of those men felt the same way about me. It’s pretty rough and it’s very hard to meet single eligible men in my age group. Perhaps I am doing something wrong or perhaps it’s just a numbers game. I prefer to think it’s the latter.

I’ve tried every other option out there, internet dating, asking friends to set me up, lurking in lumber aisle at Bunnings. So far, not much luck. So would I consider going on a blind date on television? Probably. It might all come to nothing but it might not. If I’m still single in 20 years time at least I can look back and say I gave it a whirl.   And if I’m partnered then my beloved and I can share a laugh at the boldness of me and how very lucky he was to find me.

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